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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Your daughter has inherited your anxiety, OP, and that is why she is saying these things. The apple does not fall far from the tree in terms of anxiety, but it expresses itself in a different way.

Please point this out to her, and explain that you cannot treat your anxiety/OCD between now and the visit, but you can temporarily reduce your cleaning activities, is that's what's bothering her. If you also tend to hover, try not to. The sooner your daughter understands that anxiety (and other personality traits) is largely inherited through genes, the more she will be able to treat her own anxiety and forgive you for yours. These are not things you or she can easily control. You were born with them, and handed them down to her. All you can do, both of you, is manage your personality traits (and possibly medicate your mental health disorders, if they rise to a clinically diagnosable level).

There is a fine balance between using your own property as you see fit, and making an effort to conciliate your anxious daughter when she's made such a good friend that she's willing to show her how her family lives. So please also remind her that as the homeowner, you also get to use your property how you see fit, but you are generously prepared to make an effort during friend visits because you love her.

[/quote]

100% agree. Your daughter blaming you for her lack of skills to maintain and keep friends is unfair. She is wired similarly to you but does not want to admit it. If her friend can't accept her-- all of her-- then she's not a friend. [/quote]

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