Reply to Parental time and activities as kids age

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[quote=Anonymous]I feel for you. You're trying your hardest, doing everything right, and still getting screwed. Unfortunately, all my solution ideas are crappy for you. But they might be best for your kid.

He's an hour away, but he works near where you live (and presumably where the kids go to school). Could you switch from Tuesday nights and every other week to week on/week off? In exchange for him handling activities on his weeks? Sucks for you, but 50/50 custody might be better and easier on your kid. If the drive is too long, is there any leeway on dad moving back? I mean, his job is near you, right?

Can you barter time? In exchange for the Friday afternoon slightly later pickup, could your son stay there Sunday night and have his father drop him right at school on Monday? Your ex-husband would probably also have to swing by your house to drop off his stuff.

Has your ex been confronted with the reality that there is no way for your son to compete if he doesn't practice on dad's time? What is dad's solution? Is it really his preference that son quit swimming?

Is there any way to communicate to ex-husband that his refusal to budge on swimming is hurting his relationship with his son? You might not be the best messenger for this, especially if your verbal conversations are contentious. Could you write a letter? Is there an intermediary your son could talk to? A grandparent? Or one of his father's friends? Who might listen to your son and then be willing to advocate for him to his dad?[/quote]

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