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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks, everybody, I appreciate it! I definitely feel this is the right call for us this year but am also a people pleaser so feel guilty.

Hopefully one of the PP is right and she just needs to blow off some steam. My DH told his parents a few days ago, conversation didn’t go well, and my MIL sent a follow up email to him explaining what her preferences were (Christmas) in a pretty rough way.

Last time we tried—somewhat successfully—to set a boundary things ended up spiraling out of control, so I also think we’re also just bracing for impact in case this gets worse.

I know I’m not a saint, and guess I give her more accommodations than I normally because I do understand she is jealous of our relationship with my parents and that can be hard, but typing this all out just now makes me feel more sure of that we’re doing. [/quote]

I could have written this. I have a very similar dynamic with my in-laws, down to my MIL sending mean emails when she feels offended, my parents being nearby and much more helpful, etc.

You can’t control how they react. All you can do is try to be as kind and considerate of their feelings as possible while also making choices that work for your immediate family. It sounds like you did your best, made a reasonable suggestion, and they still got angry. That’s out of your hands. [/quote]

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