Reply to Honest Advice - Should I point out the hurt that my mom caused 15 years ago now or let it go?

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Reply to "Honest Advice - Should I point out the hurt that my mom caused 15 years ago now or let it go?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yeah, it seems like she mellowed and learned her lesson, and we're not talking about some horrific thing. It's not like she, I dunno, no-showed to your rehearsal dinner or got drunk and made a scene or screamed obscenities at you or called someone a racial slur. "Said some mean things" + 10 years ago + personal growth = why bother?

It does raise the question - why is it still bothering you? You seem to have a good context and understanding for why this happened and where it came from, and it's not ongoing, which is usually a recipe for letting it go. Why are you still hanging on emotionally? Seems worth a little soul searching on your end. [/quote]

This is OP.  These are good questions... so to clarify you are right, it wasn't one thing she did, it was just her overall treatment of me during my wedding planning process.  Instances like taking showing up an hour late to the time I was showing her my chosen wedding dress (I dress shopped alone because she was too busy).  Driving to pick up my veil and her telling me all the families she knew where the groom's side paid for half the wedding, etc.  To put it visually, she was a black cloud hanging over my wedding planning times and putting her own stress above trying to make this a special time.  I'm going to assume from the rest of your questions that you have a pretty good relationship with your own mother.  I wouldn't say that I am hanging on emotionally but I am still hurt that an otherwise happy time for me was overshadowed by her selfishness and lack of empathy for her child.  But to be honest this is par for the course, I could probably take her behavior and apply it to almost any instance in my life, it's just that getting married is so special and I wish for me that time had gone differently.[/quote]

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