Reply to Honest Advice - Should I point out the hurt that my mom caused 15 years ago now or let it go?

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Reply to "Honest Advice - Should I point out the hurt that my mom caused 15 years ago now or let it go?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I got married over a decade ago about six months after a sibling.  My mom was working fulltime and comes from a traditional culture where weddings are a very big deal.  She was incredibly stressed at the time and took a lot of that stress out on me whilst wedding planning.  I also didn't marry into money and that was stressful to her at that time, as well.  I am still happily married and financially am fine and life has moved on from that time period.  I have another sibling getting married this year and I am helping them a lot with wedding planning.  My mom said and did some very mean things to me during my wedding planning time but it's been a long time and I have never brought them up with her since.  Since she and I are working together to plan wedding stuff, my wedding is more of a topic now than it has ever been since it ended.  She has mellowed some and realizes that people aren't as traditional so this is a very different experience this time around.  I am also encouraging her to be more laid-back about this and she is on board after somewhat learning her lesson with other siblings, cousins, etc.  Examples have come up about things she did to me back then and she doesn't seem to recall them and is now arguing about details that I vividly remember and she can't recall.  I want to tell her that she was terribly mean to me then but I accept that she was dealing with a lot of stress and didn't know how to not make my wedding about her.  Or I could STFU about it and keep it buried.  There is no real point to bringing this to her attention other than it would allow me to say how she made me feel a long time ago.  I can't tell if that's a terrible idea and as a 40-something that I should know better or that if telling her would make her empathize with me and ultimately bring us closer.  Clearly we have issues so I am unable to think straight about this.[/quote]

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