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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband went through all this around age 45. Including the self grooming. There absolutely was no affair nor interest in one. It was just a mid life crisis plus depression. He was also quick to argue with me, blame me for things, etc, and twenty years into our relationship I was not blameless in some bad habits that had set in - which during this period he was quick to hone in on and blame for all his problems. It was challenging.  Ultimately I had to learn to give him some space, bend over backwards to treat him as impeachable and perfect, and he had to learn to stop being so “dark” and try and reframe his life. The period lasted around three years and we got through it and things are back to normal and great again.  I have several friends whose husbands went through similar in their mid to late forties, and other than one, it did not involve grooming to cheat or cheating. [/quote]

This, plus as PP said, work on yourself.  My DH is going through something similar. I'm fairly confident he won't leave or cheat - he is introverted and we have a high net worth (he likes money, so won't want to lose half).  We love and respect each other deeply, but not in the highschool infatuation way.  I really had to expand my friend group and find the ladies that fill the social void he left.  I can't expect him to be my everything, and now that the kids are older I have more time in general.  Since I do have more friends things are getting better between us.  I'm actually very happy he turned his focus to health rather than something destructive (drinking, collecting porches, partying like a college kid).  I see other male colleges sometime do more destructive things and their marriages fall apart.[/quote]

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