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[quote=Anonymous]I don't think it's totally unreasonable to tell her she needs to pick one active thing to do during the summer and hold her to it. Frame it as that everyone needs to do work to keep their bodies healthy (kind of like brushing your teeth) so being active is not negotiable -- but the activity itself is totally her choice.

I say this as someone who stunk at team sports, felt like a chubby clumsy fool in dance class, and liked playing at the pool but was never much of a swimmer as a kid. It wasn't until late high school / college that I discovered I actually liked being active - starting with hiking and kayaking, moving on to weight training, yoga, cycling, swimming, and even rec soccer by grad school (I still stunk, but it sure was fun!).

I think at her age especially, feeling out of place and like you don't fit in with the sportier kids is a major contributor to adopting an "I don't like to be active" attitude. Encouraging her towards something that won't lead to those feelings might make her feel more comfortable. Yoga class with you a couple times a week? A couple kayaking, sailing, or riding clinics? Bike rides with Dad a couple evenings a week? A self defense class or some sort of martial art?

I am so glad I eventually realized that it didn't matter if I was talented at it or not to enjoy using my body -- I just had to get out there and do it. I think that's a really really hard leap for a twelve year old to make though (I can still conjure up the feeling of dread I had driving to dance class in 6th grade). Pushing her to do something she is adamant against definitely can backfire, but sitting down and saying "here's the deal - let's find a mutually acceptable solution together" might get you somewhere. Oh, and if you can get her to involve a friend with similar inclinations in whatever she chooses to pursue, even better. Good luck![/quote]

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