Reply to Teenage Drinking - A hard no? Or can this be done responsibly?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oldest (DD) is a sophomore in high school. In the fall she started going to parties, experienced drinking, and continued to seek out parties where there was alcohol with the intention of getting drunk. We were oblivious (because reasons) until she came to us in November to express that she liked drinking too much and was afraid because she would often black out. And then with 20/20 hindsight, it was glaringly obvious to us that this had been going on.

DH and I are a hard "no" on underage drinking. Parties have been off limits for some months now. Our lines of communication are open with DD. She wants to go to parties with her friends, but knows that alcohol will probably be there. We talk about the temptation and whether or not she thinks she can be at a party with drinking and not drink. A good friend of hers (a Junior) is having a birthday party and there will be alcohol. She says her friend's parents know there will be alcohol (though I don't believe they are supplying it). From what DD says, this seems to be common - that parents know that kids are consuming alcohol in their home and and knowingly host these parties. She says that their stance is that kids are going to find a way to drink so they provide a safe space. (For context, DD's peer group is fairly mainstream - she's in honors classes and is an athlete and much of her peer group is similar.)

So 2 questions:

1. DH and I were a bit shocked that parents are knowingly allowing kids to get drunk in their homes. Is it really that purvasive? My initial thought was of the legal and ethical ramifications if someone were to be harmed as a result of drinking under our roof (i.e., drunk driving, assault, etc.) I'd be curious to understand the viewpoint of parents that do allow this.

2. As part of our recent conversation, DD asked if we will ever be ok with letting her drink at high school parties. My husband is a hard no. He did drink in excess in high school. I didn't experience alcohol until college. I drank in excess in college. Her question has me thinking though. How do we teach our kids to drink responsibily before they are off on their own (albeit still underage) and we aren't there to guide them? [/quote]

For starters, OP, [b]NO ONE CARES THAT SHE'S IN HONORS CLASSES AND IS AN ATHLETE[/b]. Why do people always throw this in, as if this somehow means, oh... well... not this special child. Clearly, she is smart and so mature, so she can "handle it."

And second, she is a SOPHOMORE?  So, what, 15?  Way too early for all of this.

Wake up OP. Your child is in trouble.
[/quote]

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