Reply to boycotting holidays

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m starting to resent holidays and the expectation of our boomer parents that we and our kids be present to celebrate in the way they are accustomed to.  Always this involves having a meal, sitting around chit chatting, exchanging unwanted gifts.  The rest of the year they do their own thing and take frequent vacations without including us.  I think they want to spend holidays together because it ticks the box and feels ‘normal.’  I’ve proposed we plan some vacations together where we can really enjoy quality time together in a beautiful place.  I’d even be open to a cruise (never cruised before).  We’d totally expect to pay our own way.  It never happens.  So inevitably we go alone, but if it’s over a holiday there’s disappointment about us missing.  I see multigenerational families vacationing together and it makes me sad that no one cares enough to do this.[/quote]

Tough sh-- if they're disappointed. We stopped doing that, for similar reasons and a similar situation, once we had kids. They are free to come, before, during, or after, or not see us at Christmas, Easter, etc. They had their chance to host and now it is ours in our home. They are always welcome.

As for vacations, have you asked? If not, raise it and suggest what you want. But, be warned: those multigenerational trips are not always pleasant. You're not seeing the arguments over logistics, the grumpiness after a week together in close quarters, gripes about who is paying for what or contributing more . . . [/quote]

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