Reply to Stay in a blah marriage for the kid?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]From your kid's perspective, this is what she's seeing as an example of marriage. Is this the kind of marriage you want for her? When she goes to college will you divorce? How do you think she'll feel knowing you wanted to divorce for 10 or so years but didn't because of her? She won't just say "Gee, thanks guys!" She'll feel guilty. [/quote]

Bullsh*t.  Kids are pretty self-centered.  If the parents don't fight and provide food, shelter and comfort, they thrive.  They will be better off with no divorce.  They don't need to see dad grab-*ssing mom all the time.

This stands out:

[/b]We do have fun as a family when we travel, go to friends' houses, etc.[b], but for our day to day, we're roommates and co-parents only.

Lady, get into counseling with your husband.  Marriages go through stages.  You are in the valley of the U curve right now.  [/quote]

+1 get thee to counseling! Ideally with your spouse for couples but if not you can start with individual. It's really normal to go through these peaks and valleys and you described a LOT of really good things in your marriage. I realize there are some things that are really hard to and I am not trying to discount them. But divorce with a kid is hard and it alters your life forever. Not just while she is a kid but also seeing grandchildren, holidays with your adult child. It isn't usually worth it when you all enjoy time as a family, he's a great dad, and you do have times you have fun together. You all need to work on the parts that aren't working with a professional and also, give it time.

Divorce is generally really hard on kids over the long term. Most will be okay though, a happy parent is also really important. But it really can't be understated how it alters how kids see the world and relationships. So I just think you should work on this longer before making such a big decision for all of you. Not all spouses are best friends. And sometimes for some portions of your life, marriage is in fact partnering to take care of a child and not much more. I dont think there is anything wrong with that. Since you do have fun at certain times, I think it is very hopeful that over the course of a lifespan you all could reconnect when out of the main child rearing years. For me, it is worth it to wait it out to maintain the intact family. I understand that isn't the case for everyone but I would say in this regard putting my kids needs about my own is worth it for me. [/quote]

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