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Reply to "Struggling with guilt over indifference towards my mother "
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[quote=Anonymous]I posted already, but the more I think about it, I think it would be truly disturbing to feel pain and torment over an abusive person's decline. The healthiest thing you can do is detach and part of detaching is not feeling all that emotion. I would see it as self-protective. Let go of the shoulds. If someone treats you terribly, you don't want to should yourself into too much empathy for them. i know part of therapy is we learn to understand why a person who treated us poorly may have done that and sure we can have some empathy, but that doesn't make it OK and really to care too much about someone who treats you like dirt is more of a trauma bond. I would see it as healthy that you are indifferent. The guilt comes from these should in your head from stupid sayings like "Family is everything" that leave out "...if they treat you well and nurture you." Family doesn't get to treat you like garbage just because they are family.[/quote]
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