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[quote=Anonymous]Yes!

I get up early in the morning to either work out or to talk to my best friend (we will both walk or sit and have coffee while we chat on the phone). After my kids get on the bus (we have two elementary school kids) depending on my work day and afternoon/evening plans I might work out then or take some time before getting ready for work. My husband and I now both work from home (since COVID) so we get to go to lunch together at least a few days each week unless one of us is traveling for work.

After school I do my sport two evenings as well as once on the weekend, so my husband has the kids then. He takes them to their sport one day a week so I have that afternoon free (I take them the other time so he has that afternoon free). We both do weekend trips with our friends and also with the kids. I am going away with my college girlfriends this weekend, next weekend I am taking the kids away for the weekend while he stays home, then later in May he is taking the kids away for the weekend while I stay home. We also vacation together as a family, of course, but these next few weeks just happen to have trips with just one parent.

My husband and I don't do as many date nights as we used to since we get to do lunches together now, but we do have standing dates with couple friends where we do dinner and sometimes a show at least once a month or every other month at a minimum. I'm also in a book club that meets once a month. My husband plays poker with friends once a month and otherwise does his sport on the weekends. He and I also do things together like sailing (we don't take the kids, they're not into it as much as power boating, which we do with them), and other things that take us away for the weekends sometimes.

So how do we do this?
- We both work from home now, which is amazing for so many reasons
- We both worked really hard for the last 20 years (we are 44 and also both went to grad school, twice for me, but I consider that "working") and now we have flexibility with our jobs because we are so senior
- We are willing to get up early in the morning
- We talk a lot about scheduling and very much value each other's time
- We use babysitters for nights out (and we can afford to do so), and our former nanny for weekends away (no local family that can help)
- We have been deliberate about choosing our jobs, our neighborhood, and other things to make sure it all supports the life we want to live
- We go "all in" when we're doing something, so if we're with our kids, we aren't on our phones, if we're with our friends, we are living in the moment, etc. (personally I think multi-tasking is often an awful idea)

Some ideas as to how make this work for you:
- Figure out exactly what you want to do - vague notions like "spending time together" or "alone time" often aren't helpful - be specific
- Think realistically about how you want to do something and then make it happen, don't let other things get in the way until you have created a habit
- Talk to your kids about how they feel (not sure how old yours are) - mine know I spend time away from them but they also know much family time we have so they don't get sad when I go away for the weekend, for example
- Talk to your spouse about how you can each accomplish your goals

Good luck OP![/quote]

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