Reply to Feeling Trapped In Parenthood/Relationship

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[quote=Anonymous]My wife and I have been married for a few years now and we have a toddler under 2 years old. We both work full time but my wife has to work on site on weekdays and some weekends. I handle the drop offs and she handles the pick ups on most days. On weekends that she has to go into work, I solo parent.

My mom is currently ill with metastatic cancer and I don't know how long she will live. She lives in a foreign country so I always feel guilty that I am not able to take care of her more often. I try to zoom with her for an average of 4x a week (30 min each) so that my mom can say hi to our son but it's not the same meeting in person. So I feel the need to go visit.

My wife and I discussed going as a family to visit but my wife can't take more than a week off. I asked my wife to return to the US alone after a week and I can stay with the kid for 1-2 more weeks and come back with the kid. She vetoed the idea b/c she didn't want to be apart from the baby. I completely understand her fear. So I suggested that she should stay in the US with the kid and I can go for 1-2 weeks by myself and she didn't like that either and asked for a temporary live in nanny to help with morning prep to send to daycare, pick up, and putting baby to sleep. There's absolutely no nanny that will do fragmented hours for 1-2 week only. She's essentially saying I can't go alone b/c taking care of kid is too burdensome for her alone but I can't take the kid with me alone either. I feel trapped with no good options. I envisioned married couples would cover for each other when urgent situations arose. I cover for her on the weekends that she works and also when her grandparent passed away.

Why can't she step up and cover for me while I visit my mom (or be apart from the kid for 1-2 weeks if she can't handle the burden of solo parenting?). Am I being unreasonable in asking for 'coverage' while I visit my ailing mom or taking the kid? Do you have any recommendation on a solution? All thoughts appreciated. [/quote]

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