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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I see now how naive I was about what parenthood is like, and my reasons for wanting kids were short-sighted, stupid, and selfish.

And now I’m paying for it. I will never be free.

No need to feel sorry for my kids. They have a good life, and I block out these feelings during the day. It’s only at night when everyone is asleep and the house is quiet and still enough for these feelings to creep up that I’m overcome with sorrow.

That is all. [/quote]

I know you're posting a vent and not asking a question here, but OP, look at what's ahead.

You can just continue to be resigned to nights of sorrow and days of sleepwalking through your own life, tamping down your feelings;

Or risk having your kids eventually comprehend how you feel, and their dealing with the resulting lifelong emotional problems (not blaming you here, just stating bluntly, the reality for any kid, teen or adult who realizes they were not wanted);

Or risk losing your marriage as your spouse realizes your feelings and you decide to leave the kids to spouse's care because you just can't keep sleepwalking by day and grieving by night.

Or really, all three of the above. Do you think that's where you're headed? Does your spouse (if spouse is in the picture?) know how you feel? Have you had any therapy and if so, did you frankly reveal these feelings? They're tough ones to admit to having, even to a therapist. Why do you think the reality of kids is so far from your expectations? Does one of them have needs that are beyond what you anticipated? Did their presence alter your marriage in ways you dislike and regret, and you'd rather be married but childless? Do you simply find you cannot connect emotionally with your kids? All of these are things that can be worked on with the guidance of an experienced therapist and with you deciding to engage and participate in that therapy. Therapy is not perfect, not a magic formula, but since the alternative is living in service of two humans you cannot really say you want in your life--maybe you need to figure out why your expectations and the reality of kids are so far apart and how to find some modicum of day to day interest, even pleasure, in them. It will take very intentional effort on your part rather than "blocking out feelings" most of your waking hours.

And where is your spouse in all this?

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