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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So, you think if you continually buy them drinks/makeup, etc, they will be closer to you? Tell them to start babysitting to support their Sephora habit.[/quote]

It's not about bribing them. It's about spending time with them in an environment when they're open to sharing their lives. [/quote]

Right. It's taking the recommendation of those who have gone through this experience and using those outings as a way to stay engaged in their lives.  I am the OP and I resist alll those outings because of the cost but now I am hearing there is a benefit that might not be monetarily quantifiable and that's important to stay active in their lives.  Next time they ask for Starbucks, I am going to surprise them with a 'yes, let's go'. [/quote]

I think it's reasonable (and also healthy for your long term relationship!) to set a budget on this type of thing.  Once a month say yes to the outing, other times say "We went to Starbucks last week, so it's not in the budget to go again this week.  Why don't we make hot cocoa/cold brew/whatever at home and drink it on the porch?"  I think also of note with regard to bonding/being aware of what's going on, especially ages 10-15ish, is to try and be The Driver whenever possible.  Car rides here and there (for errands, activities, whatever) are liminal spaces where teens can talk to you without having to make eye contact and react to the texts they're getting and you can shamelessly eavesdrop on their phone calls.[/quote]

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