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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Choose your battles. There are going to be inconveniences and annoyances and cultural differences, but if your in-laws are good and caring people, remember that. Be fair. Be kind. Stick up for yourself when it comes to the things that matter. Don’t meddle in your spouse’s relationship with them; it’s not your job to resolve conflicts between them. If your in-laws love you and treat you with respect, recognize that and be thankful.[/quote]

This is good advice.

A lot of the previous responses suggest each person takes responsibility of planning things with their families, and that's generally a good strategy. But being overly rigid about this policy might result in one spouse throwing the other under the bus if they drop the ball on something.
Another thing that comes in to play if you have kids is that you sometimes have to suck up and deal with stuff because it makes them happy. For example, I don't particularly care for the Thanksgiving traditions at my in laws place - I love and get along well with all the people involved, but don't like the food - but my kids are absolutely psyched to spend time with their similarly aged cousins, so I just go along with it.[/quote]

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