Reply to Is it age appropriate to be punching/hitting at age 5? Unprovoked and no real reason?

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Reply to "Is it age appropriate to be punching/hitting at age 5? Unprovoked and no real reason? "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Also very relevant: one time incident or ongoing issue? If it happened one time, I'd say "age appropriate" because 5 year olds are still learning and make mistakes and this would be a learning opportunity.

If it's happening daily or one kid is hitting another, specific kid frequently, totally different. First I'd be upset that it was allowed to go on this long (in a preschool classroom, ever single incident of physical violence should be addressed and discussed -- the kids need continual feedback on this specific issue.[/quote]

Occurs about weekly for several months with various kids. The director says it’s not disciplined because it’s developmentally age appropriate. [/quote]

What do you mean by “not disciplined”? I find it hard to believe they do nothing at all. if what you want is for the kid to be punished, then the director is right. Discipline does not mean punishment. [/quote]

I think punch in the face is visit with the director. 
The current discipline is just a little talk. [/quote]

Ok I’m get a sense of the issue now.

I side with the school. At this age, the goal is guidance, modeling, gentle correction. For most kids, that’s enough. What you are describing as “a little talk”? That’s call teaching. It’s how I would handle an incident of hitting in my own home at that age as well.

What is the benefit of the program director getting involved in these incidents? Do you really think the kids at that age are impressed by that? Or is it that YOU are impressed by it and that’s what makes you feel that your concerns are addressed. But it’s not about you. It’s about the kids.

Also, what you might be missing is that in between these incidents, the teachers are likely proactively teaching the kids other, better options for conflict resolution. That’s more productive than engaging in harsh discipline when a child resorts to hitting. What these kids need is to learn ways to manage and express their feelings other than hitting. That’s ultimately what leads to them no longer hitting. Harsh punishment can have the opposite effect, increasing violent behavior because it teaches them to think in black and white terms about behavior and makes them punishment minded.[/quote]

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