Reply to Is it age appropriate to be punching/hitting at age 5? Unprovoked and no real reason?

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Reply to "Is it age appropriate to be punching/hitting at age 5? Unprovoked and no real reason? "

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[quote=Anonymous]Totally unprovoked? That's a red flag, though I wouldn't put it as "age inappropriate."

Kids that age often hit or punch when dysregulated. It's common. Sometimes you can spot how a child that age became dysregulated - you can identify the provocation. But sometimes adults aren't great at identifying the provocation. Sometimes it's related to physical needs not being met. Kids who don't get enough time or opportunity for physical expression, who aren't getting enough physical contact with other people, who are not getting adequate sleep or nutrition, are more likely to lash out in this way. If it's happening at seemingly random times, I'd be looking at ongoing issues with their schedule and environment that could be causing ongoing dysregulation.

I think it's a mistake to focus on the misbehavior, in this case hitting. By all means, explain that hitting is not an option and not something that we'll tolerate (at this age, I would physically grasp the hands or arms to stop the hitting and state firmly it's not an option). But if it's just cropping up all the time and not tied to a specific conflict, I think you need to put the time in to figure out what's going on with this kid that they are feeling the need to engage in this activity, which is inappropriate but also sensory and attention seeking, on a regular basis. If you just say "don't hit, don't hit" and don't make the effort to figure out what is causing the underlying feelings making them want to lash out, you could make it worse.

You also have to create venues for physical aggression and sensory satisfaction for this. Many kids this age naturally gravitate to roughhousing and aggressive physical play (spinning around fast, tumbling down hills on their sides, controlled contact games like tag or red rover, etc.) but a lot of that gets very discouraged these days, plus Covid actually removed a lot of these options for many kids for a critical period of time. These kids need physical exercise, contact, etc. It's a key component to how many kids self-regulate.[/quote]

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