Reply to two kids in college - what is prestige worth?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Have a kid deciding now with another at her tail. So I'm getting estimates - directly from schools - about what it will be next year and what it will be when there are two in at same time.

Kid at Princeton and second at 4 year private college 
basically paying full fare first year of first and last year of last. Then about 50k per in the doubled up years.
Total COA for two:  480K

Williams a bit more but in same range.

Two kids at Georgetown
Total COA for two:  700kish. I assume at some point we'd qualify for FA, but not first several years.

Two kids at Grinnell. Merit from the beginning. 
Total COA for two: 175k

Humanities major for first, not sure of second. This seems easy to me. Problem is, everyone we talk to is like, "hmm.. Grinnell .. now that seems like a school I've heard of but remind me" and my kids and my husband just get down on the prospect. But they're realists .. they won't sulk if that's the decision. Georgetown is off our list, for sure.  Wouldn't pay more for Williams when Princeton is cheaper. [b]Could we pay for Princeton? Yes. But that's it then, kids. No help with grad school, downpayment, anything like that. [/b] [/quote]

First, Grinnell is a fabulous school and the people that matter know that. But, if I could pay for Princeton without loans or sacrificing my retirement, I'd probably make that an option with the 100% clear caveat to Kid 1 that there will not be other assistance beyond that. [b]Let them know $X is the amount of budget you have allocated to help them get started in life and they can choose how to use that. If they choose Princeton and Kid 2 chooses in-state public U and then gets $$ for grad school and a downpayment, Kid 1 doesn't get to complain that Mom & Dad aren't helping them with those expenses. [/b]

My kids weren't competitive for that level of school but we did have $X total we could spend for college and DS chose the in-state U that would leave some $ for grad school vs. a more expensive OOS school.[/quote]

You also have to decide what your philosophy is about kid expenses. Our approach was that we had an equal budget per kid and anything not spent from that kid's budget was available for them for grad school (which we would not otherwise contribute to). But I know other parents don't see it that way. They'll figure out how to pay for the school each kid most wants to go to and if there's a big price differential, that doesn't matter. Each kid got what they wanted. They may later be willing to help with grad school or downpayments but the differential in college costs isn't considered.[/quote]

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