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[quote=Anonymous]I am 20:33. She is asking how to help - not if she should. The Mom is following her gut and clearly upset about it. Comments like yours are easily said - but HOW to bring change? Like I have said - been there, done that.

To OP - sometimes in the moment I would call it out like “That is not nice”. Sometimes there would be an argument after (which unfortunately the kids would sometimes hear).  I would make sure to give my kids extra compliments at all times. The kids knew what they loved and was reasonable was 100% supported by me and that I would go to bat every time. It’s a hard road but it has mattered to my kids that I love them for who they are.

Every situation is different. In mine I believe that their Dad had his own challenges with neurodiversity and depression. Unfortunately approaching an adult to say that the problem is them doesn’t fly well. (The neurodiversity was diagnosed but yet unwilling to medicate and/or do the work. The depression formally undiagnosed.)

Would having a therapist for you and/or your son help? That can be a starting point even if that starting point is not the root of the problem.

I write my situation in the past tense. But don’t think we didn’t bring the emotional baggage into the present.[/quote]

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