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[quote=Anonymous]I say this as someone with a codependent mom. Don't ask about being a "good daughter." You are falling into the people pleasing trap. Her definition of a good daughter would probably be for you to move there, enmesh with her, enable her and feed the neediness and you still would not be able to get rid of her anxiety.

How can you help the situation? As others mentions the meds are not right. Speak to the doctor. They had plenty of years to get psychological help and didn't so they probably won't now, but when dad passes down the line I would make a valiant attempt to get her into therapy and support groups.

Can you hire a case manager there to make sure they are getting the right supports and check in on them? It would be good to have an expert assessing needs and coordinating care as needed.

Learn to detatch with love. anxious people will be anxious unless they want to change with therapy and meds. Needy people will be needy and so forth. You cannot rescue her from this. All you can do is make sure she gets optimal meds and put supports in place. Figure out your boundaries. Don't fall into good girl trap. There are people even on this board who will guilt trip you for not doing enough and for being a bad girl. You don't need out approval or theirs. You just need to figure out what works with your value system and your current family situation. It's not cut and dry. Your spouse/kids, etc need you and they need a happy, sane you.[/quote]

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