Reply to How to deal with mom's IL jealousy during birth of third child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry OP. You have an emotionally immature parent and you will need to set boundaries to protect your feelings. I’m so sorry you have to go through this.

Agree with others - you’re not obliged to tell her you’re pregnant, that you’re in labour, or even that you delivered the baby.

You’re not obliged to say yes if she says she wants to be in town during the birth or immediately postpartum.

You don’t have to answer the phone when she calls. You don’t have to return her calls.

You don’t have to listen to her when she starts screaming. You can just hang up or say “sorry mom, I can’t listen to this and will hang up”.

If your MiL will be supportive and help with the household and kids during postpartum, enlist her help. You don’t need to feel guilty about that.

Good luck and congratulations on#3![/quote]

Also her childcare support is not worth dealing with her childish behavior. Hire a nanny instead. If your mom begs to babysit then tell her that is only possible is she does not do XYZ. Personally I’d just allow her to visit, in a limited way, so that your kids can develop a relationship with her. But she still needs to informed that she can’t behave like a jerk towards you or there will be no more visits - this may take longer to work out. For post partum, see above.[/quote]

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