Reply to I feel nervous talking to my Boomer parents about my life... not sure what to title this

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm mid 30s and my parents are divorced. My dad is 72 and my mom is 69. Both are remarried and very involved with their spouse's kids. I live across the country. My dad inherited a few million a few years back and he takes his wife and her kids plus their kids on lavish vacations. He doesn't do this for me or my siblings. His wife is kind of controlling, has never had to work, etc.

I am very introverted and have been through some personal tragedies in the past few years (sudden death of fiance). Just graduated with a master's degree. I was talking to my dad on the phone more often in the past few weeks and I'm starting to feel like I need to become more distant again. He makes comments that remind me of why I was distant in the first place. He will give me advice to do something and then when I take his advice and do it, he makes critical comments. It's bizarre and he has always been this way to some extent. There are other things that make me think he's going through the normal aging process (I have to re-explain and repeat things several times or he completely misunderstands things).

When my fiance died, he made the comment that he could relate because it was "a lot like when your mom and I divorced... "... Um, no. He makes comments like that and is not aware how insensitive that comes across. Then I go through a cycle of feeling pissed off at myself for ever opening up to him or allowing myself to have a personal conversation with him. I told him some personal things yesterday and now I feel regret. I truly feel like I don't know how to be with my parents sometimes because they don't really take the time to get to know me and they make me feel uncomfortable when I do open up to them. They also have a way of undermining all my achievements. I don't have kids and have never married because of the death of my fiance. I'm the youngest of all my siblings (lots of them because there are step siblings on both sides plus my siblings). It makes me feel somehow inferior in my parents' eyes or like my life is less interesting to them because I never reached that milestone in life. [/quote]

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