Reply to Colleges That Change Lives - What Has Your Experience Been?

Forum Index » College and University Discussion

Reply to "Colleges That Change Lives - What Has Your Experience Been?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]My need blind liberal arts college changed my life. I come from a very lower socio-economic immigrant background. One of my siblings also attained nearly full ride and Ivy phd.  Less talented sibling paid almost fully for her degree, that is, our parents paid (they didn't for me nor my Ivy sibling, not even for pencils, books, paper).

While I deeply appreciate the lift up, I have to admit that college and life thereafter was a permanent rift from my natal family. My parents were toxic - always fighting, pitting the kids against each other for the paucity of resources, manipulation, triangulation, you name it. The kids were a buffer against the world and the kids had to get out of there. I wouldn't be surprised if many poor kids had this sort of family dynamic (it's the kind of behavior that keeps people down there). However, given how some of the siblings turned out, I would NOT say that college is a golden ticket to a balanced, productive life.  People from toxic families will compulsively make toxic emotional decisions.  It's all they know. Being a good student or, eventually, worker doesn't mean that person is capable of making healthy emotional decisions in their personal life.

It took 4 years of being away at college to help me recognize that (finally in my senior year).  And another few decades to unpack more of that.  The only way to do this was to keep a distance from the crazy of my family. I was in a state of depression for 3 of my college years.  It was in my 4th year that I realized I was depressed - because I no longer was. G-d, I would have been a better student if I wasn't in that depression fog.  I still feel rotten about not maximizing my amazing educational opportunities.

The less talented sibling stayed close to my parents.  She never got married, has a middling admin job. Has a live in boyfriend of 3+ decades she uses as a buffer to my parents who live across the street. No kids, my parents are basically her kids - they've infantalized themselves to her. There is some unsaid resentment there. College didn't really change her life like it did for me.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics