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[quote=Anonymous]ILs downsized 5 (maybe 7?) years ago. They chose not to look into an aging in place arrangement and went for a smaller house. For the first few years it was great as it was a new project (my MiL loves new projects) and they were finally living on one floor, so good for everyone's joints and mobility. About three years ago, FiL started to have some cognitive challenges and then it really unraveled over a 6 month period about two years ago. He now has a hard time following a conversation and really can't read a book or watch a film. While he doesn't appear to have the instinct to wander, he cannot be left alone. They now have someone who is with him 40 hours/week M-F.

My MiL is understandably starting to feel the strain of the caregiving burden along with household maintenance. They really do not go out to eat any more and chores that they may have shared before now all fall on her. She was perhaps the most candid about it with me earlier today. For the first time, she expressed regret about not doing a little more due diligence about their options when they downsized. I can tell she wishes someone else handled household maintenance and meals, even if she didn't always go to the common room for dinner.

But she is quite frank that she could not share a 1BR with a caregiver present all day and that even the 2 BR units feel tight to her - I gather that she has gone to look at a couple facilities, including one where they have friends. Believe one has small homes on the grounds. I get not wanting to be in a 1BR with her DH and another person all day 5 days/week.

Should they stick it out staying in their home (which may be the less expensive option over the long run - their funds are not endless) or look at possible openings in a few communities nearby where they live? She is sharp as a tack, slightly overweight, and gets around like there's no tomorrow. I have no hesitation about riding with her or having my kids do so. (DH and I stopped letting our kids ride with his dad years ago and is now moot.)

Love insights from anyone who has faced this decision themselves or have with their parents or other seniors in their lives.

Thanks![/quote]

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