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[quote=Anonymous]This is tough.  I’ve found with my kid two thing’s marginally worked.  
1. We had to be very direct about what we were willing to do and what we weren’t and any deadline/consequences.  So if we weren’t willing to pay three times the amount for a private college unless they visited an in-state college, we had to say, if you haven’t signed up by x date (and pick the date assuming they won’t even look/start  until that date so don’t wait until the last minute) this is what happens and stick to it. Anything other than that had us stressed out because we felt like we would be the ones dealing with the consequences of their inaction while they were unbothered and living their lives 
2. We set aside a specific agreed upon time when we would talk about colleges and set a time limit.  My kid got very agitated and felt pressured by all college/adulting talks even though they wanted to go off to college. For me, my parents were strict as heck,I was a latch key kid responsible for watching younger siblings, and I had a job since I was 14 so I felt like I was getting a lot more freedom and not a big leap in more responsibilities by going off to college.  For my kid, the jump in responsibilities between high school and college was pretty steep and it wasn’t as big of a step up in having more freedom. I think they wanted to enjoy that longer …probably even more so after losing almost a year/year and a half to virtual school and COVID protocols.[/quote]

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