Reply to Can you remain married to a man who doesn’t have a vision?

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Reply to "Can you remain married to a man who doesn’t have a vision?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I was in your shoes.  Married a man without a goal or plan.  Stupid me. I harbored some crazy idea that he would stop being Peter Pan.
I thought I could handle it, but the aimlessness was hard to take when we had kids.  And I had to handle EVERYTHING.  It eroded the marriage.  There were a lot of other things wrong with the marriage like violence, hoarding, financial abuse but all part of the same package.  Change was hard for him so he retreated to these ways of lashing out at life responsibilities.

At 43 I began the divorce process, stopped being SAHM. 10 years later the kids and I are doing great, they are really accomplished and my career trajectory has moved upwards beyond my expectations.
If I had stayed married I'd still be living the same life I was living while married - me trying to keep his sh!it together the kids but still exactly the same aimless, goalless, directionless life. Dear OP, I was an enabler.

We've remained amicable since the split and I see the atrophy, the same crippling dependence he has on his parents. The kids see it too.
I am grateful everyday that I got out.  [/quote]

Your “other stuff” is what made your marriage fail. It’s really not the same as OP at all[/quote]

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