Reply to I worry so much about my 13 year old DS

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is my son.

He is now 18 and finishing his first year in college.

He is still the same in many ways, but life is beginning to toughen him up. He is learning that the world (teachers, friends, potential girlfriends, random adults) do not put up with his BS statements the way his mama did too often.

And if he wants to stay in this college that we are paying big bucks for, he is going to have to maintain a certain GPA. That, finally, has gotten his attention and he is realizing that his definition of "effort" is not cutting it.

OP, your son will eventually feel consequences that matter to him for not following through on things. If he goes to school too often without brushing his teeth, someone will tell him he has bad breath and will start a big to-do that may eventually reach the entire grade, about how he stinks.

Rather than console him when he's embarrassed, realize that this is the best thing that could happen to him.[/quote]

Yep.  Remove the safety net slowly and that includes for school work.  Bad grades in middle school don’t matter.  But you can communicate that grades below a B means no phone.  Stuff like that.  And of course you offer all the support needed along the way (which is different than managing it for them).

My son was not a teeth brusher and he did not enjoy getting that cavity filled when he was past the little kid dentist.  Sorry kid.  Brush your teeth I guess.  You’re lucky you see a dentist and I’m able to pay for a cavity getting filled.  The rest is up to you.[/quote]

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