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[quote=Anonymous]I have been you. I had the same thoughts. I wanted someone to rescue me and I finally rescued myself. As they age they lose the empathy and ability to see their demands are too much and they are burning you out.

If you can push push push to get parents into residential. An alternative is case manager, but beware of the ones who sell aging in place in too much because they sell you the moon, especially if they know there is someone local to pick up the pieces when the companies they contract with have no-shows, etc.

Hire someone to deal with MILs stuff after you get rid of anything with personal info. I would not hire an auctioneer because our experience is even wealthy relatives just have junk nobody wants. You want a person who figures out what can be donated and what must be trashed.

Someone here shared a brilliant quote about how you need to be a good ancestor far more than be a people pleasing child. Your children deserve a mother who is sane and healthy and available to give them love. They learn nothing from you making yourself sick for people who already lived a full life. You make sure elders have quality care, does not need to be you organizing it all. Your marriage and your wellbeing matter and need to be a priority.

Let go of pleasing anyone. If your parents are at all grateful you are fortunate. You have to accept their decline may be awful and they may become difficult. It's not about making them happy. It's about making sure they have care, but don't do you in.

It's a marathon not a sprint. You do not need to be superwoman. You do need to take care of yourself. [/quote]

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