Reply to How do you navigate being the “poor” relatives

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Money isn’t everything.  What’s the core of your relationship?  My brother makes around $35K/yr with 2 kids.  But he’s happy and lives within his means.  He’s a good person.  I live with our father.  When I need a break, I ask him to come and he does.  Yes I buy the the flight but so what.  Our kids love each other and enjoy hanging out together.  It’s important to both of us that we facilitate the cousin relationship.  Some years we  spend time tougher at one of our houses and sometimes I rent a beach house or a ski house.  My brother is kind
And supportive.  He held my hand through my divorce and keeps me sane when the kids are overwhelming me.  I really hope he doesn’t feel like he has to navigate being the poor relative. [/quote]

You and your brother sound like great people and know what life's priorities are.

I'm the poorer relative in this family equation. My husband was killed in a car crash when my kids were young. His brother and his partner (later husband) have helped me in immeasurable ways. The first Christmas I was planning a modest (yet not quite Oliver Twist) level spending as I was not yet employed and had just moved. They showed up, proceeded by multiple Amazon deliveries and created a holiday wonderland for my children. Paid for nice groceries for Christmas dinner. Every year provided custom dollhouses, train sets, bikes, and specialty classes. Footed airfare when we came to visit them or on vacation in pleasant rental houses for beach vacations. When they had a Facetime with my son showing him his new braces, a check arrived to offset orthodontia bills. As the older ones reached college age, help with extras for them, including major support for the eldest who had a semester in Florence her junior year.

Never have they made me feel beholden or less-than. The best gay uncles on the planet. If there is a heaven where our deceased keep track of us, my late husband would be so happy to see his big brother and brother-in-law looking after his kids.[/quote]

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