Reply to S/O friends who can’t read a room

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My attitude on this is that when are rude or hurtful I say "that's rude" or "that's hurtful." If they keep doing it and I can't find a way to look past it, I tell them "I don't like being around you when you speak like this -- if you can't find a way to keep some of these thoughts to yourself, or to be more tactful in how you share them, I will choose to spend less time with you." And then follow through.

Don't get into an argument about whether what they are saying is actually rude or hurtful. As you can see from some of the responses so far, many people like to justify this behavior as "honest" or "telling it like it is." They are under the mistaken impression that people are looking for this kind of feedback, or benefit from unsolicited, harsh feedback. You won't change their mind. So don't. Just explain that you don't like it and will choose to spend your time elsewhere if they keep doing something that makes you feel unhappy.

Spending time with friends is supposed to be enjoyable, life is too short to waste it with people who don't get this.[/quote]

Thank you!

I don't understand why people don't seem to understand that honesty is great but it should come with compassion. I find that most people who claim to be "brutally honest" are more into the brutality than the honesty.[/quote]

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