Reply to Mother passive-aggressively criticizes my/millennial parenting

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Mother passive-aggressively criticizes my/millennial parenting - how can I respond?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, so on this board there is a lot of criticism on the awkwardness of DCUM scripts.  I'm not going to give you one because I don't know how you normally speak with your mother.

Script aside, here are a couple points:

(1) you need to enforce whatever you are requesting with a boundary.  i.e., get clear in your mind what you are going to do when she continues to criticize.  And regardless of how beautiful/sharp/perfect your words, your mother will criticize; she's spent a lifetime doing it.

(2) read Adult Children of Emotionally Immature parents.  Your mom is seeing your parenting as somehow a reflection on her - she didn't do enough, she misses what she personally lacked.  Something.  Whatever is going on, is her problem and not yours to carry.[/quote]

I will also note that your examples [b]read like you are trying to get her approval[/b] and to understand what you are doing. This is the wrong approach; you are not a child who still needs her approval.  Just continue to make the decisions for your children that you believe in.  Don't expect that any particular language is okay.

Also I note that the posters after my comment use the word "abuse."  This can be difficult to hear and it might be something hard to accept given all of the cultural issues surrounding your mom and how she was raised.  But I think it's worth separating the culture and just looking at the behavior and deciding whether or not, it's okay.  And you don't have to invite unkind or abusive behavior into your house.
[/quote]

And you are trying to get her approval by getting her to see that your way is better. This is a doomed enterprise. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics