Reply to Officially done with *preferences* of picky eaters

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I totally get this, OP. I’m an avid cook and by all accounts a really good one. We have a small family, 10 of us when we are all together, usually for 3-4 days at the holidays. I used to enjoy planning really nice meals with lots of choices for everyone, and what I thought of as popular foods. But now the growing list of “dislikes”  includes - but is not limited to - olives and capers, smoked salmon and shellfish of any kind, pasta/bread/breaded things, any kind of curry or curry-adjacent seasoning, chocolate, cheesecake, whipped cream…the list goes on and on. “Oh…do these cookies have walnuts? I like pecans but I don’t like walnuts…” It’s enough to make your head explode. Some of these things are legit allergies, others not.

Is it the end of the world? No. I could figure out how to plan around this, and I do. But it’s requiring an increasing level of mental contortions as new things seem to get added to the no-go list, and I have been feeling anxiety and resentment creeping in, which means it is time for a reset. I’ve started to feel like my real joy for cooking from now on may come from making special meals for myself, even if it means tons of leftovers that I eat for lunches for days. Maybe when it comes to other people, Costco frozen lasagna (which is legit delicious) and a salad is enough. (Oh no…pasta. Sigh.)

I love the idea of saying “I”m making X, Y, Z…feel free to supplement” - but my family isn’t local and it seems a lot to ask for them to travel all this way and contribute to a potluck. [/quote]

All of this. Here’s what: many of the picky-pickies and those with ever-changing “restrictions” (as in you’re vegan but you “can’t resist” the hometown specialty chocolate, or you don’t eat meat but “occasionally have a slice of bacon—move those goalposts) don’t realize is that hosting is a lot of work. You can tell the perpetual guests. They are the one who rudely comment on what they do and do not like, or won’t or “can’t” eat, instead of unobtrusively making a plate or bringing some dishes to share. Those who impose over and over again have no idea how much goes into planning, cleaning, shopping, cooking and cleaning up when hosting. No clue. [/quote]

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