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[quote=Anonymous]DH has a strange relationship with his mother. She had him at 16 and never really matured past that age. She’s emotionally immature and causes a lot of grief in his life. Their relationship is so forced and awkward. In the over a decade we’ve been married I can think of five instances off the top of my head in which they’ve engaged in an estrangement, always prompted by her mistreatment of DH. The thing is, he always instantly forgives and forgets like nothing happened only for it to happen again and again. It’s like a never ending cycle, which for me, as his sounding board and shoulder to cry on during these estrangements, is a hard thing to watch. It’s like he’s desperately hoping she will become the mother he’s always wanted *this time*.

So I’m always shocked when I feel jealous of certain things. Like today, for example; DH had a business meeting near his mother’s house. In order to get there, he has to pass my office. I have a very flexible work day. So when I found out today that he visited his mother while he was on that side of town, I immediately found myself jealous. Now, if this were a story I heard from someone else, I would find it endearing! How sweet, to make an unexpected visit to your mom. At first I thought I was jealous, because like I said, with my flexible schedule we could have had lunch. But the more I dwell on it, the more I realize it wasn’t even about a missed lunch opportunity, I think I’m just frustrated that he’s so desperate for that sort of mother-son relationship that he will do anything, even skip an opportunity to surprise me, and I know he’s wasting his time because the clock is ticking on the next time they are on the outs again and he will turn to me and expect support.

I don’t even know what my question is or what help I’m looking for. Does my post even make sense to anyone? I’m so tired of feeling jealous (or frustrated) with someone who is honestly such an ugly person inside! Why would I feel jealous of that?[/quote]

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