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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DS11 has ADHD, dyslexia, dysgraphia, anxiety, and gross motor delays. He is a great kid in so many ways-- funny, upbeat, engaging, likes to contribute positively. But his ADHD (and related struggles) makes absolutely everything so difficult! School, extracurriculars, social life, homework, bedtime, morning time, family relations. Everything.

We have done all the prescribed remedies. Medication (doesn't work well for him), parent training, IEP, school change, etc. Everything helps like 15% and we are still left with a really hard situation.

I feel very sad for him. And this situation is really hard for his parents. [/quote]

BTDT.  Certain things get better, certain things don’t and different things arise. My younger DC has a similar complicated profile. He did not have gross motor delays but has everything else and a few others.  The most severe is the dyslexia and dysgraphia.  The ADHD seems to be related to how much they can do at one time. They do not seem to be plagued with the organizational issues others with ADHD have. His therapist and his evaluator have said that their anxiety is helpful on that part. But we had to give them a ton of down time.  They also have some rigidity to certain things that I had hoped would ease up by now.

Think of the down time as some of their ECs.

One day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time.  You cannot solve everything at once, you have to prioritize, do one thing and be able to let go of some things.

We pared down ECs to just scouts and our Congregation’s youth group. Each were once a week with an occasional weekend thrown in. They wanted to quit scouts, but we said they had to pick something else to replace it.  They stayed for the duration. I let go of trying to find an instrument or sport or something else like theatre or whatever.   They have played Pokémon and still do. We also did not even try a foreign language and that allowed them to find fun non-academic classes.  Their strengths are in math and science so they took extra classes there in HS and only 6 classes in 11th and 12th grade.  We were in FCPS.

They couldn’t handle more socialization than was already prescribed and that was ok.  There was another child that was similar that they knew since K and the five minutes a day they saw each other  at school was enough.  They did form a tight knit group in college.  They are in grad school now and still have never dated.  My Dad was like that and he eventually found my mom. So, I am hopeful.

Covid happened when they were in college and set them back a bit, I keep telling myself it will take time to recover.  Small steps moving forward add up over time.

(((Hugs)))) to you. Take care of yourself.  I found some camaraderie among other parents with similar kids.  Getting away every once in a while helps some- daily walks outside help more.

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