Reply to Is effing with someone a thing?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Is effing with someone a thing?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dated a guy who came on strong, was attentive, polite, interested.  But then he’d ghost for a few days without explanation.  [b]Twice he failed to show up for a date at all.  He’d lovingly say he’d do something then fail to follow through.[/b] Or worse, he’d do the thing but mix in some other unpleasant aspect that would ruin the entire thing. Like for my birthday he gave me a novel that he said had a lot of meaning to him, but the inside had a note to “Nikki” (lol my name isn’t Nikki). Okay so he was effing with me.  Like the entire time.  But why?  I didn’t do anything unkind to him. In fact, I actually really liked him and in many ways it seemed like he liked me too. But he kept effing with me. Super weird. If he didn’t like me, why not just dump me and move on?  He chased me quite a bit after I broke up with him. I don’t get it.

[/quote]

The bold [i]alone[/i] was enough to merit no more dates. Being a totally unexplained no-show in the early days of dating? Not even telling you he suddently got sick or had a work emergency (if his work is the type to have "emergencies")? The lack of any plausible explanation was sufficient for ending things with him. He either got a better offer for that same time, or cared so little that he flaked and forgot your date. Next time, end things after that point, if it happens again with some other guy.

Don't blame yourself for his being a jerk, OP. You didn't do anything unkind to him; he's going to be like this with everyone. Self-centered and probably juggling various women who give him second and third chances after he fails to turn up because he's with someone else. The fact he chased you after you broke up? That makes him the kind who thinks of women as little trophies and who feels HE should be the one to break up with YOU. He probably wasn't truly interested in you at that point but instead wanted to show himself, and you, that he could get you back, that's all. It would not have lasted, considering his awful track record with you. Good riddance. Please do not waste time or energy thinking about "why did this happen" etc. Just move on and don't put up again with anyone who pulls the stuff he pulled on you. You deserve better.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics