Reply to Not inviting my friend's to my child's party

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[quote=Anonymous]My child is turning 9 this year.  In past years when I had parties for my DD, I have invited my friend's children, who are younger than my child, to her party.  My child does play with these kids when we get together on occasion but the moms are really my friends and we do things without the kids on a regular basis.  My DD is happy to play with these kids when we are at get togethers as families but outside of that, she never mentions them or requests playdates with them and if asked, she wouldn't name them as friends.  I think this mostly has to do with the age gap (one child is 3 (almost 4) and the other just turned 5).

This year we are doing a smaller party for DD with just her close friends. It's more of an outing than a party and I find that as kids get older this is becoming more common. The problem is my friends are still expecting that their children will be invited to the "party" even though I have explained very gently and nicely that DD is doing a special outing with a few close friends. My friend with the 3 yr old remarked "That's great!, my little snowflake will be so excited about this".  When I reiterated it's just an outing for my DD's close friends, my friend replied "well, my little snowflake is one of her close friends!" I was pretty taken aback that she really thought this and couldn't think of any nice way to respond. The other friend seems to think the same way - that her DD should also be included in the outing.  I think part of this is that their kids are still really young and at the stage where parties tend to include everyone under the sun - school friends, parents friends, siblings friends, etc.  My DD doesn't want to include these kids and quite frankly neither do I as I don't think it will be a good mix of kids and really my DD just wants to hang out with her little tween friends and I am ok with that. Add to the fact that it is an expensive outing.

I don't plan on mentioning this again to either friend but should it come up, what's the nicest way to get the point across that their kids won't be invited and  that they as parents will understand one day.[/quote]

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