Reply to Do you have any family members whose lives went totally off the rails?

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[quote=Anonymous]My brother was like this. Attended Ivy League schools and was also a consultant at a very prestigious firm. He seemed to have a great life - wealth, girlfriend, traveled a ton, lots of friends.

The details were always murky but he had a disagreement with a client over something and ended up getting fired (it was a big client the company couldn’t afford to lose). His self worth was wrapped up in his job, and after not being able to find another job it sent him on a downward spiral - he started drinking around the clock and landed in the hospital to detox a few times. About 5 years later he had a heart attack at the age of 45 and died (it was related to the drinking).

In response to your question, at first we were all there for him and tried to do anything we could to get him out of the house, help him out, see a therapist. We were overly accommodating which translated into enabling. He didn’t want help or to get better which made it an impossible situation. My parents offered to send him to fancy rehabs but he refused to go. After a few years of this everyone gave up and kind of just left him alone. We would invite him to family events and sometimes he would show up drunk, sometimes not at all. We were getting ready to do a staged intervention when he died. My parents feel like they failed him, but I truly don’t know what more they could have done. You have to want to help yourself and he did not.[/quote]

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