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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom is like this with a variety of things, both physical and social/emotional. It irks her that other people maintain a lower weight, have loving marriages, go on great vacations, etc. She is a perpetual victim and everything is done to her. She can’t do anything unless all conditions are perfect and when they aren’t perfect it’s never her fault. Nothing is ever good enough for her. She won’t plan a vacation - she won’t offer any input when asked - but then she will pout about not having a vacation or the vacation not being what she wanted. In my mom’s case, she would never admit to not completing PT. She would say: the steps were too icy to leave the house, it was raining, she got lost driving there, she doesn’t feel comfortable driving there because there is a highway, the parking lot was too busy for her, the receptionist was rude to her, the PT didn’t listen to her (excuses or actually asked her to try harder), their hours were not convenient, and on and on. It’s never HER fault.

The truth is she’d rather be miserable and blame / alienate everyone around her than take responsibility for her choices, make an effort, and potentially fail. I have no idea what would happen to her mentally if she tried her best and failed at something and didn’t have anyone or anything to blame. I don’t think she’s ever taken responsibility for anything, ever, even a burnt meal. It was the oven or the recipe’s fault - not hers! [/quote]

As to why she is like this? She met my dad when she was 14 and married him at 18. She’s been married to him 50+ years. She taught junior high for 30+ years with a bunch of catty, gossipy women. I am convinced she is emotionally a teenager. [/quote]
Wow, PP, this is OP and this sounds exactly like my mother. Right down to being married at 18 (and still being married) to the vacations (or lack there of.) It is exhausting. Thanks for sharing your story. It’s nice to commiserate![/quote]

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