Reply to Parents and ILs Don't Get Along

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know you've posted before.  I do think that given your parents are more of the problem, it's unfair to snap at your inlaws.

I'd suggest saying something like, I'm sorry I snapped. I know my parents are difficult. I so appreciate that you all aren't. I cannot solve this problem, though. They are always going to be like this. It would be so helpful if you just didn't take it personally. That's just how they are.

Maybe, if you feel like it, add in something like, it's hard to deal with my parents, I know. But we're so glad to have you here and just ignore them.

Or have your husband say to them, listen, this is hard enough for Larla.  She can't control her parents - this is who they are.  We - she - deals with it by ignoring their bad behavior.  For the kids' sakes, and for Larla, it would help if you could just not feed into the crazy.  Thanks.  [/quote]

OP here. I did let MIL know that I would have the same conversation with my parents before this event. I have acknowledged my frustration with my parents to my ILs as well, but I really need all of them to hear that I expect them to say hello and be civil if they see each other. And also, I am done playing the "who is sitting with who" game and when will each set of grandparents get their designated time to say hello to DD after the even without the other one present and for how long, etc. It's exhausting and I don't like the expectations they put on DD either. [/quote]

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