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[quote=Anonymous]I’m going through some deeply painful health stuff with my DD.

I didn’t see or talk to my dad for 15 years (age 13-28) because I was kidnapped by my mom and she changed my identity and he couldn’t find me. At 28, I found my dad and we have slowly built a relationship over the last 10 years.

My dad will drop everything and show up for me. He has showed up when DD was in the NICU. He has come whenever I have asked and will do whatever I ask. Most recently, we had to travel to get treatment for DD out of state. My dad came to watch my other child, who became sick the morning we were set to leave. My dad got my DS to the pediatrician and took care of him while I was in the hospital with DD.

So here’s the problem-i only ever go to my dad when I have no other choice because I just find it so uncomfortable to depend on him. He is reliable and steady and kind, but it’s just hard for me to trust him even after 10 years. It’s not his fault that he missed so much of my life, but he did and so he feels like a stranger to me.

He is also just not capable of saying supportive things. He’s reserved and careful and just cannot seem to offer me any verbal support. It’s just what it is. But I think that’s what I’d love from him, but he just can’t seem to offer it. He is not warm and fuzzy, and things always feel kind of formal between us.

Is there a way I can get more comfortable with allowing him to help? He’s healthy, he’s retired, and he moved to my city to be close and help with my kids. I know I’m so lucky. I hate that this is so hard for me and never gets easier.

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