Reply to How do you react to your kid in ways that don’t make them sad?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have an older kid (in college now) who has always been this way.  I feel like I spent so many years (and still do, to some extent) trying to make them happy.  And they just aren't--at least not for very long.  
Now I've learned that I can suggest things, but I can't MAKE them feel or do anything they don't want to.  What I still need help with is not reacting when they complain about their boredom/lack of friends/unhappiness.  
(And yes, they're on medication and attend therapy etc.)[/quote]

This is on point.  I've spent years planning, scheduling outings, mini trips, excursions with others...it is downright exhausting.   Sometimes I find myself exasperated and just say, I cannot be the provider of everyone's happiness.[/quote]

I really feel for you. I am going through something similar with my NT tween and sometimes I let her mood bring me down. But I am trying to do things I find fun for myself. She can be a part of it or not, and sometimes she chooses to and that's lovely, and other times, I get to do something I want to and feel good. We've also been doing a bit of "end the day with 5 good things," and honestly, it's fun for me to do. If this feels like pressure or unfun fr your kid, feel free to discard; it's just a thought.

I think kids can also sense when your happiness is their priority and maybe bristle at it a little? And maybe when they're left to fend for themselves a little more, they'll get creative? I don't know the SFX of the medications you're talking about, or what other meds are out there. Just a hunch! 
[/quote]

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