Reply to My Mother is NUTS!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom and her just drove 2hrs to come visit with me and the kids for an overnight.  When she arrived I was taking a nap with my 2yr old. I got up out of bed when I heard the dog barking (she has a key and lets herself in). [b] I came into the living room said hi (apparently not enthusiastically enough). I then proceeded to the kitchen to quickly make some pizza dough, which takes 2hrs to rise, so I had to do it quick, as it was 3:30. [/b]She then announces that she is going with my husband, and her husband to play a quick 9 holes of golf, which of course was fine with me.  I then get a text from my sister saying that my mom is pissed at me that I'm giving her the cold shoulder.  I then get a text from my DH who is at golf with her saying that my mom is leaving after golf for the same reason. Here is why I am not fuming:

1. PRIMARILY my mom has not communicated her displeasure with me directly. She is channeling this communication in a very passive aggressive way via my sister (who is 100 miles away) and my husband, who is awkwardly stuck in the middle playing golf with her. Would it have been so hard for her to pull me aside and ask me if something was wrong? So difficult for her to say "hey, I feel like you are being rude or are upset, is something wrong, did I do something"? If she just would have approached me directly, all this drama could be avoided.
2. I'm not giving her the cold shoulder I just woke up from a nap. I'm tired, I was distracted. I feel like I have been completely blindsided and am left really standing her saying What the fuck just happened?
3.looking at it I should be the one pissed since she arrived at my home to "visit" with me and then quickly scrams to play golf for 2 hours, but I did not think anything of it until now.
4. She has now ruined my night with her outburst.

This incident if isolated, would be something normal people could just laugh off as a miscommunication, but not with my mom.  This is normal for her to behave in a very indirect and passive aggressive way, it never gets easier. Her moods are always so unpredictable!! Even if she does plan on staying, what am I to do, turn on the sugar like syrup? I was not annoyed when she arrived, I was pretty happy, but now I actually have a reason to be pissed.

[/quote]

I guess it depends on the established family dynamics. I understand you were napping, but this was an expected visit. In my family, to be received like this seems cold, and I would have felt unwelcome. Maybe that's why she left to play golf.[/quote]

The arrival time was fluid...sometime in the afternoon, which is why she let herself in with the key. As far as that goes the dynamic is casual. She has a key to my home and goes and comes as she pleases. I've even come home to her in my bathtub (its large, she likes it) and her bathing in my tub unannounced is not a problem. Her problem was not my nap, but apparently my enthusiasm level. [/quote]

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