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Reply to "Family dynamics not what I thought they would be"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's obvious the previous generation made the effort to stay in the same regional area. Today most people don't bat an eye about moving across the country for a job. Lots of college students expect to move to the locale of their first job. I only know of a few people who dated with the intent to settle with someone from their home region. Most people date without that criteria, then marry and have kids and it becomes an effort if not an issue to move near one of their families - if this is even remotely possible.[/quote] NP. The above post is right. What you experienced, OP, was great at that time and good for you, but it's not replicable for you now, so rather than mourning what you can't have and can't give your kids---are you working at building a network of good friends where you've landed? If you spend too much mental energy on lamenting how your expectations aren't met or your kids won't have what you had, that is mental energy and time you could be using to take part in things locally, and at school, and join whatever matters to you and DH (a church, volunteer organizations, whatever you prefer). Your own kids may not ever have the cousins-all-pile-in-together sorts of vacations and holidays you had and wanted. But you can choose to let that be OK, or you can choose to let it make you sad and regretful. And as someone else noted, you can take the role of host and inviter to all--but please don't do so while setting up new expectations that might not get met. Do it without expectations so you don't get disappointed again. Whoever comes, comes. All the siblings and all their kids etc. are not going to descend on you repeatedly, or someone else will want to host the year you said you planned to host, etc. etc. [/quote]
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