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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was just thinking I owe a friend and her husband dinner over. I get so stressed about cooking and planning, not to mention that her place is so nice compared to ours it's embarrassing, that I never get around to it. Rarely.
So OP, be a bit sympathetic. Some people just don't have it all together![/quote]

Are you me? I get so anxious about all the above too and stress myself out worrying about reciprocating. I know I owe people but I am not the greatest cook and my house sucks compared to nearly all my friends that I find it embarrasing to have people over. It's a constant source of anxiety for me. The difference with my friends is that, apart from one couple, who always comment about people who don't reciprocate, have not stopped inviting us. I try to make it up in other areas such as baby sitting if they need to go out, buying nice birthday/Christmas  presents, taking the kids on fun play dates. Also if we go out, my husband and I often pick up the tab.

I do think the balance sheet friendship is cultural though. We moved here from the UK and I had never come  across the concept among my group of friends before. In my experience among groups of  friends, different couples/people offer different things to the group that everyone appreciates. One couple may be the great entertainers, another may be the ones to make the best desserts and know their wines and always bring them alongside parties another couple may plan the best getaways, another person may be the best listener and us always there to offer support. It all evens out one way or the other. Friendship is more than having people over to eat at your house. [/quote]

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