Reply to This is really bothering me- always being "on" as the parent

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[quote=Anonymous]Prefacing this by saying that DH is a wonderful involved Dad and pull his weight around this house. We both work full time. Toddler and preschool aged kids.

I made a comment during a disagreement yesterday that he doesn't understand how stressful it is to be "always on" because he can largely come and go as he pleases. He was really shocked and said he didn't think that was the dynamic at all and I told him to think about it and we can discuss it today.

These are my feelings:
-DH travels for work one week every month or two. Obviously during that time, I have to do 100% of kids, house, dog, etc. If anything comes up like kids are sick, doc appointment, I get sick, something happens at work I just have to handle it. I knew this is part of his job, we discussed this thoroughly before he accepted it, but it is still stressful for me. I'm not expecting anything to change here but maybe just some thanks or acknowledgment for holding down the fort while he's taking pre work runs through Central Park or along the ocean.

-Last night he went for a run then to the store without even telling me he was leaving. Just assuming that was fine for me.

-He has a client for wok that's an hour drive away. He had to go there last Monday for a meeting and it spiraled into this huge fiasco that has resulted in him having to be there on site everyday last week and thus far this week. Everyday he says he will be home at regular time and then every day he has texted me that its running over- will be late and is coming home 2 hours later than normal. Again, I understand this is for work and out of his control but couldn't he ASK instead of TELL me that he will be late.

-When we have date nights or go out with friends, he always lets loose and gets drunk, assuming I will have a glass or two of wine and be fine to be on with the kids. Sometimes the toddler still wakes up during the night and they both get up at 6am. If DH has more than 2 a couple beers, he sleeps like a total rock and would never wake to the kids calling out.

I can't imagine ever just leaving for a run without ensuring he was available to care for the kids.

Does anyone else feel like this? If you don't, how do you hit a better balance?
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