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[quote=Anonymous]My original post didn't survive the Friday crash, so am going to repost an abbreviated version today. Appreciate the folks who had posted insights on Friday.

A close friend's parents are now in their mid to late 70s and facing mental and physical health challenges. My friend is the youngest of three siblings - all in their mid to late 50s. She is long divorced and no children while the two older siblings have kids in the HS to college range. Her relationships with the two older siblings are fairly fraught. No one here, from the parents to the three adult kids, are remotely wealthy.

My friend is understandably upset with her parents' declines and trying to do the best she can (they are divorced and live in 2 different states) with her limited vacation time and resources. My guess is the two older sisters care, but probably not in the way my friend thinks they should be. Her frustration about it veers into anger at times when we are talking about it. Sounds like she emailed the two of them with a fairly heated message of "do something now or else" near the end of last week.

My siblings and I were fairly cooperative and generally figured out a way to help our parents and not unduly burden each other. I know folks IRL as well as have read posts in this forum of adult children with siblings who can go AWOL when the elder parent(s) need help. You can't make your siblings take action if they don't agree that that is what they want to do.

I'm torn on what, if any, role I have here. Right now I've just been listening and maybe that is all I should do. Some folks have come on this eldercare forum and vented, then said they just had to accept that "it is what it is." Do I share these insights with her? I am about ten years older, so I've had my own experiences as well as know how this has played out with friends and extended family. Even when money isn't tight, there can be conflict on how to help and support parents in this phase.

Appreciate any BTDTs replies as well as any other advice/suggestions folks have to offer. [/quote]

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