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[quote=Anonymous]My mom struggled with anxiety and depression, but was an externalizer so it manifested in rage, 
scapegoating, venting all her issues to me from a young age, hurling insults at me when she felt I was not doing enough for her, making me responsible for her happiness, etc. I went into therapy on and off as different issues came up like being in an abusive relationship with a guy in college, being in an abusive work situation and then eldercare issues.  It wasn't until eldercare issues I stopped worshipping and trying to please mom and shared what was really going on. The therapists eyes bugged out of her head as I shared stories from now and growing up. She wondered about personality disorders like BPD and NPD and even bipolar, but over time I think we figured out it was more the less preferable manifestation of anxiety and depression along with maybe some traits of personality disorders. She definitely was NOT an internalizer.

I do think it's not just genetics that made anxious and prone to depression, but modeling what I saw even though I internalized unlike her. That said, by nature I am an optimist, and I reclaimed that and was able to manage my won anxiety when I learned more about it and stopped seeing mom as a model. Now when she tries to emotion dump on me I detach and suggest therapy. I don't let myself catch her moods. I also stopped having so much empathy for her because it turned into me constantly forgiving abusive behavior.[/quote]

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