Reply to In the end, everyone is so damn disappointing.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you have adhd and maybe rejection sensitivity disorder? Sounds like your expectations of others are v high. I expect v little of others - at end of the day most ppl are out for themselves except your family. If your parents let you down it sounds like you tried to find unconditional love elsewhere and were disappointed bc it’s not really something anyone but family will give you [/quote]

No adhd. Don't know much about the other thing you mentioned but will look into it.

This sometimes happens in big ways - right now I am just really disappointed in some behaviors I see as very antithetical to our mission in a group I am a part of.

But I also, for example, still fixate in my mind on an event that happened 5 years ago with a friend and colleague. We worked with children and on a big night when one was doing something major, she elected not to come because she had worked late the night before. I was so taken aback that she wouldn't be there for the child. I never forget this, even though years have past and we are still friends.

I know this is not rational! But this is how I think. [/quote]

This is about you, not anyone else. You have no idea why you friend didn't show up that night (you know what she said, which may be the truth or not, or might be part of the truth but not all of it).

The reason it sticks with you is not because what she did was so terrible. It's because you resent her for doing it for some reason. Why? Is it because you sometimes want to skip events like that in order to take care of yourself, and you don't? Are you mad because you martyr yourself to this mission and your friend didn't?

Turn inward. Everyone is flawed, everyone screws up, everyone lets peopel down. If it's upsetting you to the point of giving up on people, as yourself why. What does this say about you. What are you really afraid of?

The answer to this is inside you. There is no amount of perfect performance from someone else that will ever satisfy you because at some point, that person will let you down (because they are humans and do not exist solely to fulfill your expectations) and you'll be in the same place. Why? Look inward.[/quote]

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