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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a college kid who is always the one asked to make concessions for others.  From the time she was young, she was always the one paired with the odd one out for activities. She was the one asked to take the least desirable thing because she was seen as flexible and easy-going. Now she’s in college and she’s sick of it - yet it continues to happen over and over again. Complaining gets her lectured on being a good sport and a team player.  Short of bailing out (which then takes her out of her favorite activities which is not fair)  what are other options? This time it’s a trip and she’s in a forced triple hotel room each day with two freshmen while all the other upperclassmen are paired with friends.  She asked - tripling aside - why it couldn't even be a triple of her friends.  She was told they’re trying to make things “inclusive with no cliques.”  So now $$ later she’ll be having a crappy trip because she’s the lone person needing to be “accommodating.”   I guess I’m more venting than needing advice.  Sad to hear my non-complainer just fed up.[/quote]

I was your daughter. Is she a middle child? I was the peacemaker in a family where there were needier/more demanding siblings above and below me. Parents were unhappy in their marriage. It's usually a learned survival strategy. Married another peacemaker and we do our best to be considerate of each other and raise our kids not to be doormats. [/quote]

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